'Feeling safe' is a very personal thing, I had an interesting realisation about it some time ago, when I started dating my Ex (no, she wasn’t that scary, well, not until the divorce anyway
).
She sat down with me one day and said her parents had asked her, to ask me, if there was anything they should know about me.
I thought the conversation was going down the lines of ‘what are your intentions’, so I dutifully expressed my desire to make an honest woman of her (this was back when such things were still considered chivalrous).
She slowly shook her head and then proceeded to go through a long list of behavioral characteristics her parents found concerning, like:
Before going out I’d always plan and discuss several routes and didn’t like going anywhere with limited access,
Whenever I left or arrived at a property, I’d always do a walk around and check everything was secure,
Any unusual sounds were always investigated,
Car doors were always locked and windows always up,
In traffic, I'd stop with sufficient room to manoeuvre around the vehicle in front,
I never stood still in public,
If I did have to stop in public (like on public transport), I’d back up to a wall near the exit, and observe everyone around me …
By the time she finished going through it all I was even more confused, it turned out her parents thought I could be in witness protection, or some sort of covert operative, or in organised crime ... but my behavior was making them feel unsafe and they were concerned about her safety.
The reality is, I’d grown up in PNG, a tribal culture where you have to be constantly aware of personal safety, and that’s just how we lived.
