I got tired of waiting for a fix from Ineos and went ahead and ran the wire to the brake light wire in the back right, together with the Redarc EPDK-001.
Getting those body panels off, was a major pain in the ass. For others who haven't done this yet, the order of removing the plastic trim panels is first the big panel over the wheel (first remove the cargo tie down screws, then the three screws behind the three black circles), then the top back panel (next to the side window), then the bottom right panel.
I couldn't figure out how to remove this clip (circled in red in the photo below) to get easy access to the orange and blue wire, so I ended up removing some of the tape from yellow circled part and tapped into the line there. Thanks for everyone that contributed to this thread, its a great resource that I needed to refer to about 100 times.
For the wire connections, in the back (by the photo) I just used a t-tap. Under the seat I used Wago 221-2401 inline lever connectors that I wrapped in electrical tape. Its the first time I've used those and now I'm sold, so much easier than the other methods. Last time I used heat-shrink connectors, but the wires in the IG seem to be very susceptible to heat because the plastic coating became very soft and stretchy at the temps needed to shrink the splices.
My general thought about all of this is I'm pissed. I'm not very good at this kind of shit and I resent that I had to do it when I paid extra for the towing package.
It is complete BS to advertise that the IG comes with a towing package capable of 7716 lbs, when there is no sensible way to connect a trailer bake controller. Particularly since in most US states it is illegal to tow anything over 3000 lbs without trailer brakes!! (including in Washington where I originally bought my IG and AZ where it is now)
All in, between installing the original Redarc controller and this additional wire trigger, I'm probably at about 8 hours of my time. Worse than that, I've done about 6,000kms thinking I had trailer brakes when in reality I only had the inertia brakes.
Ineos needs to get off their asses and fix this before someone is inevitably hurt by this!
Sorry for the rant... maybe I should have waited a bit longer after installing before posting.