How do we feel about sexist remarks on the forum ?

[DaveB]

I can vouch for that Stu (the bastard bit I mean) as you have seen on this site!!! As you know, I'm a happy bastard.

I have variously been referred to as a funny bastard, annoying bastard, fat bastard, knowledgeable bastard, stupid bastard but as my parents were married the day I was born never just a bastard.
My mother hated me saying the last as they were married 9 years before I was born
They were married 18th December 1953
I was born 18th December 1962
I was married 18th December 1987

 

[Tazzieman]

I was born 18th December 1962
I was married 18th December 1987

08/62 and 07/87 here

 

[ECrider]

I have variously been referred to as a funny bastard, annoying bastard, fat bastard, knowledgeable bastard, stupid bastard but as my parents were married the day I was born never just a bastard.
My mother hated me saying the last as they were married 9 years before I was born
They were married 18th December 1953
I was born 18th December 1962
I was married 18th December 1987

lucky bastard just around the corner once you take delivery of 1) The Beast and 2) The Shed

 

[Mitchell300]

And remember , if you ask Alexa to say "100" in Welsh , do not be offended by her answer

Ah ! Should have waited until my wife was out the room before checking that one !

 

[Tazzieman]

Ah ! Should have waited until my wife was out the room before checking that one !

My wife was watching with me ; The Late Brake Show ( Mike Brewer's garage ep) - Mike asked Alexa what's 100,100,100,100 in Welsh

 

[emax]

I have variously been referred to as a funny bastard, annoying bastard, fat bastard, knowledgeable bastard, stupid bastard but as my parents were married the day I was born never just a bastard.
My mother hated me saying the last as they were married 9 years before I was born
They were married 18th December 1953
I was born 18th December 1962
I was married 18th December 1987

Now I know, why I had to learn the original rhyme at school 50 years ago. I knew I would once need it.

Remember, remember
18th of december,
the bastard arrived in a cot.
We have seen ovation for this incarnation
that never get forgot.

 

[DenisM]

Having read @painter 's thread up until this point its interesting to hear everyones take, there are a few things for me to put into the mix.

There are forum guidelines for decorum, politeness and respect. Perhaps not everyone has taken the time to read them or just needs a refresher.

The moderation here is very light and intentionally so, everyone here states that they are adult when they sign up and that should be enough to ensure a common minimum level of decency and civility throughout the discussions on this platform. The self moderation by the group so far has been pretty good with a few limited exceptions.
One thing that is being made apparent is that the conversation threads are drifting, sometimes drastically away from the original posters intent, question or query, so lets try and keep to within the realms of tenuous links to the OP.

The international aspect of the forums' membership can be challenging as a comment in one country can be pretty offensive to a person in another, this is why I encourage everyone to indicate where they are from in their profile for obvious reasons. Secondly, this aspect of the forum is what it makes it such an interesting place to be and spend time (aside from the spectacular Grenadier content) I'm sure this international flavor will bring a myriad of benefits to everyone and provide cultural enrichment and hopefully friendship.

Just make sure you remember that if an Australian is calling you a bastard, it's actually a compliment.

Ah! The British Commonwealth plus the USA: multiple cultures separated by a common language!!

 

[RYAustralia]

> But I do think some remarks or "jokes" invoking women could cause offence to some without the writer realising it.

I think that's part of the the highly praised internationality in this forum and that it is thus unlikely to allow us to find a boundary that is equally appropriate for all cultures.

So why shouldn't someone who doesn't think something is OK simply formulate that directly as a response?

A general ban on any kind of flippancy would otherwise hang like a sword of Damocles over everything that could even remotely affect the sensitivity of another. But that's exactly what you have to accept in an international forum: That there are other standards than one's own, be it downwards or upwards.

That's why I think it's better to show respect in general for a personally given answer of the one who is bothered by a contribution. I find that much better than a fundamental restriction a la taliban.

On such occasions, I usually also ask myself whether in what way someone has a problem with contributions which are questionable from his personal point of view, that he might eventually find primarily with himself.

By the way, I wonder who is actually left as a "suspect" if you subtract here all those who have responded so approvingly.

Please note that this is my general position, I am explicitly not pointing to some particular person.

The question was "How do we feel about sexist remarks on the forum ?"

And that's my answer.

That's pretty close to what a British comedian said about offensive jokes too...

 

[AnD3rew]

The problem with any kind of written communication is that tone and nuance are lost so sometimes things that would be taken as light hearted and harmless in person come across as very insensitive and inappropriate when written.

A good test is would you be happy for your:
- wife
- partner
- daughter/kids
- co workers
- boss/employer
To read and would you be happy to be quoted in a newspaper or in tv as having written it.

If no, then don’t do it.

 

[Stu_Barnes]

The “is it suitable for my boss to read over my shoulder” litmus test will work for 99% of the time.

The only place that sort of gets a free pass is the joke thread. Enter at your peril.

 

[emax]

That's pretty close to what a British comedian said about offensive jokes too...

"offensive" is a subjective, not an objective assessment.

 

[evomind]

Im not sure I have read "sexist" comments, but I do not look for it nor do I get offended by things I read.
If I dont like it I ignore it and move on.
Old fashioned I know.
I'll say this.....Everything always offends someone.

 

[LC0013]

 

[trobex]

I couldn't care less what people say - nothing offends me and that's the truth and I'll continue reading threads no matter what people are saying. I won't however go out and actively throw any derogatory comments at any person as I don't have the time for that. I believe you should be able to say just about anything.

 

[ANNML]

My mistress says the speedos I wear are by far the best contraceptive I've tried

Just make sure you remember that if an Australian is calling you a bastard, it's actually a compliment.

Two amazing blurbs. I know this thread is old but I randomly came across it. I haven’t seen a sexist vibe but everyone’s perception is different.

I think generalizations about whatever xyz group of people can be funny, if meant that way — but I understand why that can get lost in translation. For me, it’s the plopping of people into decisive opposing silos (but haven’t seen it here) — bc the moment someone busts out that an “us” and “them” exists, the conversation is already over. It’s already been established that the existence of a middle ground is not something the person is interested in; they have their silos and they can’t bend or the whole thing crumbles.

I’m not a fan of having to be hypersensitive of every little thing. I’m a fan of having the self awareness of how not to be a basic a-hole, it’s really not that hard.

And the other thing is that this IS a forum, the point of which is discussing things. So accept that whatever one puts out there is fair game for reactions, whether one likes them or not. Discuss, disagree, agree, feel offended, feel validated and on and on — but as long as you don’t let your emotions in the driver’s seat you will be okay 90% of the time.

Someone mentioned this forum is, by far, male dominated — and I have been curious about the percentage of females. Not that it matters in my experience, just a curiosity.

 

[trobex]

Two amazing blurbs. I know this thread is old but I randomly came across it. I haven’t seen a sexist vibe but everyone’s perception is different.

I think generalizations about whatever xyz group of people can be funny, if meant that way — but I understand why that can get lost in translation. For me, it’s the plopping of people into decisive opposing silos (but haven’t seen it here) — bc the moment someone busts out that an “us” and “them” exists, the conversation is already over. It’s already been established that the existence of a middle ground is not something the person is interested in; they have their silos and they can’t bend or the whole thing crumbles.

I’m not a fan of having to be hypersensitive of every little thing. I’m a fan of having the self awareness of how not to be a basic a-hole, it’s really not that hard.

And the other thing is that this IS a forum, the point of which is discussing things. So accept that whatever one puts out there is fair game for reactions, whether one likes them or not. Discuss, disagree, agree, feel offended, feel validated and on and on — but as long as you don’t let your emotions in the driver’s seat you will be okay 90% of the time.

Someone mentioned this forum is, by far, male dominated — and I have been curious about the percentage of females. Not that it matters in my experience, just a curiosity.

Hard to say... how many females on the forums. Guess it may also depend on ones belief of gender identification... numbers cos be skewed!!

 

[ECrider]

Hard to say... how many females on the forums. Guess it may also depend on ones belief of gender identification... numbers cos be skewed!!

Indeed, prior to 2006 there were no testicular injuries in women's sport.

 

[Jean Mercier]

Someone mentioned this forum is, by far, male dominated — and I have been curious about the percentage of females. Not that it matters in my experience, just a curiosity.

It is indeed mainly a men's forum, and from the usernames alone it isn't easy to know the gender, even @ANNML, although Annee (very well known on the forum), Julie and Virginie are women!
You could start a poll:
Are you

1. woman
2. man
3. other
4. won't tell

My feeling: less than 1% women.

 

[ANNML]

Hard to say... how many females on the forums. Guess it may also depend on ones belief of gender identification... numbers cos be skewed!!

Yes I thought of that too!

Indeed, prior to 2006 there were no testicular injuries in women's sport.

Love you for this!

It is indeed mainly a men's forum, and from the usernames alone it isn't easy to know the gender, even @ANNML, although Annee (very well known on the forum), Julie and Virginie are women!
You could start a poll:
Are you

1. woman
2. man
3. other
4. won't tell

My feeling: less than 1% women.

I’m going to start one, great idea!

 

[ANNML]

I couldn't care less what people say - nothing offends me and that's the truth and I'll continue reading threads no matter what people are saying. I won't however go out and actively throw any derogatory comments at any person as I don't have the time for that. I believe you should be able to say just about anything.

This. And it only took you 3 sentences, which is actually pretty annoying bc it probably would’ve taken me 7-10.

I’m guessing you might be a calm-in-the-storm kind of person, not that you’re necessarily striving for that — it’s just there by default maybe.

Then again wth do I know bc it’s just 3 sentences. I think it’s a curse inherently present on all cyber forums — where you can’t help but form ideas about the people behind the words. I mean I guess you have to do that on a forum, otherwise there are no people, just words. I digress in every way.