Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[Tazzieman]

And get a lot of "senior moments"

I've done the smart thing - by cutting back a bit I now have 3 day weekends

 

[Krabby]

View attachment 7820095

This applies to teachers on summer vacation. My wife and I ask all the time “what day is it?”

 

[Miki]

Why continue with this crap mate? Just contribute like the rest of us.

Errr ..... it was a (backhanded) compliment FFS

Was it the 4 syllable noun that threw you ?
Should I have used alacritous instead ?

 

[Miki]

 

[Miki]

 

[Miki]

 

[Miki]

Beware of a new Internet/Amazon scam.
I bought some expensive jewelry for the girlfriend a few days ago but some car parts arrived instead.
Thankfully they fit my new Grenadier

 

[Barney]

Residual alcohol is when you slip in the shower and want to hold on to the stream of water.

 

[Miki]

 

[bigleonski]

View attachment 7820240

Hmmmm, sounds like very poor advice to me.

 

[Tazzieman]

Hmmmm, sounds like very poor advice to me.

Yes , the correct recipe for a fist sandwich!

 

[bigleonski]

Yes , the correct recipe for a fist sandwich!

Ah well, the physical violence I can just take in my stride, it's the stuff that lingers for days and weeks and months that bothers me.

 

[Wayneos]

 

[Miki]

View attachment 7820267

Thats Ronaldsway Airport or is it Prestwick ... ?

 

[Miki]

 

[holdmybeer]

A few things to know before stealing my 914

 

[Miki]

A few things to know before stealing my 914

Good
I liked this bit best, it appeals to my sense of engineering ... Do not go straight forward with the shift knob, as you will only find Reverse waiting there to mock you with a shriek of high-speed gear teeth machining themselves into round cylinders.

 

[Tazzieman]

Those of us stabling old cars know full well the the effective foreplay required to get underway. Especially from a cold start!

 

[DaveB]

Those of us stabling old cars know full well the the effective foreplay required to get underway. Especially from a cold start!

Also those of us who have been married for a while.

 

[Tazzieman]

Also those of us who have been married for a while.

Many years ago a colleague of mine announced his engagement. His married best friend blurted "I presume you've already had all the sex you will ever want?"