The Grenadier Forum
Register Now for enhanced site access.
INEOS Agents, Dealers or Commercial vendors please contact admin@theineosforum.com for a commercial account.

Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

DaveB

Grenadier Owner
Local time
1:49 AM
Joined
Mar 18, 2022
Messages
7,442
Reaction score
15,158
Location
Toogoom, Fraser Coast Queensland
My Father-In-Law, who started his adult life as a Ukrainian cobbler, ended up with at least a working knowledge of Ukrainian, Polish, Russian, German and English. The war meant he was forcibly inducted in the German army, (Waffen SS), and ended up interned in Rimini by the Free Poles. Given an hour to decide whether he wanted to go to Stalin's Soviet Union, Canada or the UK, he ended up in a Displaced Persons camp at Redmile in the Vale of Belvoir as directed labour for the Ministry of Food. He eventually worked for British Rail for 30+ years as a trackman.

He had an interesting turn of phrase, "get harvest in when harvest ready", "you catch more (wasps) with honey than vinegar".
When the double glazing salesman called and asked if he wanted windows, he said, ".....but I got windows!"
When the Mormons called and suggested he come to Jesus, ".........hang on while I pack". (Caused chaos as he was an Eastern rite Catholic).

He got dementia in the end and lost his languages in reverse order of learning them, so lost English first, so for a while we spoke in German, (which I am terrible at!) Thankfully the local NHS had Russian, Polish and Ukrainian speakers.
When I was young we all thought my PA ( Mums father) was crazy and has a speech problem.
Turns out he was from Wales and didn't like the Englanders.
He could speak english but preferred his native language.
 

DaveB

Grenadier Owner
Local time
1:49 AM
Joined
Mar 18, 2022
Messages
7,442
Reaction score
15,158
Location
Toogoom, Fraser Coast Queensland
I hope you don‘t get me wrong, since this is an international forum… ;)

View attachment 7843318
I try to learn basic phrases and words whenever I travel as i find the locals appreciate that you are making and effort.
It helps we learnt Latin at school. Along with French, German and Indonesian.
I had to help out a bunch of tourists trying to catch a train in Italy.
They wanted to go to Florence and couldn't find the right platform.
I pointed out the train to Firenza and they thought I was crazy. They asked my why the Italians didn't use the correct name.
 

Jiman01

Lifetime Supporter
Local time
10:49 AM
Joined
Mar 27, 2023
Messages
441
Reaction score
530
Location
USA
1707536747505.jpeg
 
Local time
3:49 PM
Joined
Apr 27, 2023
Messages
371
Reaction score
359
Location
Lanark, Scotland
My mates dad went to one of those suicide clinics in Switzerland.

On the day they gave him Cheerios for breakfast.
 

bigleonski

Grenadier Owner
Local time
1:49 AM
Joined
Nov 5, 2022
Messages
2,168
Reaction score
4,807
Location
Brisbane QLD, Australia
Love how you always come home with me even when i treat you bad.
Love how you never complain and are eager to head off into the wilds.
Love how you don't care that i'm an old ugly cranky bugger.
love how you purr after i service you and never complain when its been a while.
Love how your willing and eager to let me drive you hard even when your not feeling the best.
Rest assured no one can ever replace you in my heart and even though you may be past your prime we will be together to the end.
 

Attachments

  • IMG_5400.jpeg
    IMG_5400.jpeg
    85.1 KB · Views: 16

bigleonski

Grenadier Owner
Local time
1:49 AM
Joined
Nov 5, 2022
Messages
2,168
Reaction score
4,807
Location
Brisbane QLD, Australia
Imagine we lived in a world where all cars were EVs, and then along comes a new invention, the "Internal Combustion Engine"! Think how well they would sell: A vehicle half the weight, half the price that will almost quarter the damage done to the road. A vehicle that can be refuelled in 1/10th of the time and has a range of up to 4 times the distance in all weather conditions. It does not rely on the environmentally damaging use of non-renewable rare earth elements to power it, and use far less steel and
other materials. Just think how excited people would be for such technology, it would sell like hot cakes!
 

Tazzieman

Grenadier Owner
Lifetime Supporter
Founding Guard
Local time
2:49 AM
Joined
Sep 30, 2021
Messages
6,761
Reaction score
13,392
Location
Tasmania
Imagine we lived in a world where all cars were EVs, and then along comes a new invention, the "Internal Combustion Engine"! Think how well they would sell: A vehicle half the weight, half the price that will almost quarter the damage done to the road. A vehicle that can be refuelled in 1/10th of the time and has a range of up to 4 times the distance in all weather conditions. It does not rely on the environmentally damaging use of non-renewable rare earth elements to power it, and use far less steel and
other materials. Just think how excited people would be for such technology, it would sell like hot cakes!
Imagine a passenger vehicle that could refuel for free by the side of the road and go offroad without 40 inch tyres and a massive V8. A vehicle that you never had to register or service.

Oh it's been and gone. Just before my time, but not my dad's.
 

Krabby

Global Grenadier 76
Forum Moderator
Grenadier Owner
Lifetime Supporter
Local time
10:49 AM
Joined
Nov 5, 2022
Messages
5,066
Reaction score
9,713
Location
New Jersey, USA
Imagine a passenger vehicle that could refuel for free by the side of the road and go offroad without 40 inch tyres and a massive V8. A vehicle that you never had to register or service.

Oh it's been and gone. Just before my time, but not my dad's.
Pbs Nature Hair Flip GIF by Nature on PBS
 
Back
Top Bottom