Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[Catpaw4x4]

Well it is 9:15 at night and temperature has dropped to a bit over 25 Celsius. Tomorrow will get to 35. 3 weeks into Summer

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Its 18F outside at 5:30am - seasonal !

 

[Jiman01]

 

[CrazyOldMan]

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Seems about right for Texas. If he had a bandolier and a pump action bullpup shotgun, it would complete the picture.

 

[DaveB]

Its 18F outside at 5:30am - seasonal !

It's now 7 am on Christmas eve and getting warm at 25.8 degrees . That's 78.44 degrees in freedom units.
Forecast for 35 degrees spot on midday. 95F

 

[Tazzieman]

Expecting 40C on Boxing Day after a balmy 35 tomorrow!

 

[CRH]

Dominic Frisby

 

[DaveB]

Every time I hear someone waffle on about the magic of Almond "Milk" it makes me laugh, shake my head, laugh"

 

[Tazzieman]

Every time I hear someone waffle on about the magic of Almond "Milk" it makes me laugh, shake my head, laugh"
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Always read the fine print! Though there is no fine print on a Maccas burger, even though it contains bits of eyelids and arseholes

 

[DaveB]

Always read the fine print! Though there is no fine print on a Maccas burger, even though it contains bits of eyelids and arseholes

As there is absolutely zero chance I would eat a Maccas burger I will be OK.

 

[LC0013]

Every time I hear someone waffle on about the magic of Almond "Milk" it makes me laugh, shake my head, laugh"
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Plant based "Milk" ain't Milk...

 

[Tazzieman]

Plant based "Milk" ain't Milk...

"Milk is a white liquid food produced by the mammary glands of mammals"

 

[DaveB]

"Milk is a white liquid food produced by the mammary glands of mammals"

No.
It comes from mammary glands of almonds.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7GObq0-gqs

 

[Tazzieman]

https://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/comedian-reveals-insane-amounts-of-booze-aussies-drink-at-christmas/video/8adfe4a67c97588837b87e6adb98a37e

 

[bigleonski]

Listen to you old farts going on about nut juice on Christmas Day.

Sparkling Shiraz (Rockford Black if you can afford/find it) is more appropriate for today’s festivities. And it goes much better with roast lamb and baked ham.

Merry Christmas

 

[Tazzieman]

Irish Jokes 🇮🇪 (Public Group) | A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks one afternoon, casually chatting about the proud achievements of their respective cultures ove... | Facebook

A Greek and an Irishman found themselves in a Starbucks one afternoon, casually chatting about the proud achievements of their respective cultures over steaming lattes. The Greek leaned back with...

www.facebook.com

 

[CrazyOldMan]

Listen to you old farts going on about nut juice on Christmas Day.

Sparkling Shiraz (Rockford Black if you can afford/find it) is more appropriate for today’s festivities. And it goes much better with roast lamb and baked ham.

Merry Christmas

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Coming from America’s dairy state - not only do we find almond milk an affront to God and man, but I would like to use this opportunity to draw everyone’s attention to the SEVERE and debilitating medical complications suffered by industrial almond milkers - which almost exclusively employs very small children for the task. I believe this is one of the sins “which cry to heaven for vengeance” according to the Church - forced almond milking.

 

[DenisM]

Coming from America’s dairy state - not only do we find almond milk an affront to God and man, but I would like to use this opportunity to draw everyone’s attention to the SEVERE and debilitating medical complications suffered by industrial almond milkers - which almost exclusively employs very small children for the task. I believe this is one of the sins “which cry to heaven for vengeance” according to the Church - forced almond milking.

Yeah.... the whole idea is totally nuts.