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Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

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IA, “Lets make a dodgy spot weld, right there... shoot, lets give him a friend and make another one”!

”We don’t make giant humps in the footwell, we make happy accidents“!
I was thinking of exactly such a sentence . But my English isn’t good enough to imitate him in a proper manner.
 
My wife and daughter in law have watched 50 Shades of Grey at least twice together.
I , like most men I presume, have never watched it.

They have put it on again. This time I have decided not to leave the room to save them embarrassment.
Observing their reactions will provide the daily chuckle.
I'm a Ziffer by nature.
"ORZIFF!"
Which means "Oh, as if" , for those who don't have English as a 1st language.
Likely they will tell me to PISSORF after a while :D
 
Update: after 45 minutes - x1 missionary position act. Boring!
I'm hugely tempted to go out to my workshop and start up with the heavy old lathe I heaved up today from my recently deceased dad's workshop.
I mean if you've got wood, you may as well do something constructive.
 
Update: after 45 minutes - x1 missionary position act. Boring!
I'm hugely tempted to go out to my workshop and start up with the heavy old lathe I heaved up today from my recently deceased dad's workshop.
I mean if you've got wood, you may as well do something constructive.
No peeking....
 
Update: after 45 minutes - x1 missionary position act. Boring!
I'm hugely tempted to go out to my workshop and start up with the heavy old lathe I heaved up today from my recently deceased dad's workshop.
I mean if you've got wood, you may as well do something constructive.
Weagles v Blues is on mate - not as spicy and slightly less boring.

Although I’m watching Reds v Force and Reds are up so far, so I’m happy.
 
Weagles v Blues is on mate - not as spicy and slightly less boring.
My D.I.L. is a Blues tragic and keeps checking her phone. But my app is faster than hers (spoiler alert hahaha)
How these 50 Shades actors aren't pissing themselves laughing in the whipping scenes is one of life's mysteries.
Any horsey people here who can enlighten me?
 
Likely had a keyless go car before ...
 
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