Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[DaveB]

 

[Tazzieman]

Those of us who work on old cars know this scenario well
It's called sleeping on a problem

 

[Tazzieman]

Awkward

 

[Tazzieman]

1950s

 

[Jean Mercier]

I googled "in Dutch" Ineos Grenadier, and very bad and dramatic news, some bastard bought all new Grenadiers.

This is the result:

Translation:
Looking for an Ineos Grenadier? We have thousands of new Ineos Grenadier in stock (clearance prices)!

 

[Jean Mercier]

A CEO called an IT expert to solve a problem on his computer.
The IT expert came, solved the problem in about ten minutes, by adjusting a small potentiometer, and left.
A week later the CEO called the IT expert: “This invoice is probably a mistake, adjusting a small screw, you charge me 1000 euro for 10 minutes of work, please can you send me a new invoice?”. Ooh “yes, sure”, the IT expert said.
The next day, the CEO got a detailed invoice:

1. 10 min work: 10 €
2. 2 hours driving including transportation expenses: 200 €
3. Fee for my expertise for knowing which screw to adjust: 800 €
4. Total of the invoice: 1010 €.

… the CEO paid the invoice

 

[Arkaig]

Happy New Year, und für unsere deutschen Freunde einen guten Rutsch ins 2023!

 

[Tazzieman]

This has always worked for me!

 

[Arkaig]

 

[Max]

I don't understand the abbreviations...happy motoring

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[emax]

I don't understand the abbreviations...happy motoring

I don't understand anything.

Can somebody explain to a sober German?

 

[DaveB]

I don't understand anything.

Can somebody explain to a sober German?

Ok
The first one is written backwards
so show us your ...........
The second one is you can taste the Anus and you can taste the P enis

 

[Davman]

Joke of the day

 

[Tazzieman]

Ok
The first one is written backwards
so show us your ...........
The second one is you can taste the Anus and you can taste the P enis

The funny ness and the English ness of the latter

 

[emax]

Wow, so simple!

Too simple for a German, may be.

Now I know why no web translator could help me ...

 

[Tazzieman]

Wow, so simple!

Too simple for a German, may be.

Now I know why no web translator could help me ...

My wife cacked herself when she figured it out
(cack is Aussie slang for laugh)

 

[Jean Mercier]

Just to make clear at some “blokes” that I understand Australian humour

When I was in Australia in 2011 for almost two months, I hitchhiked quite a lot, just to be able to reach some remote places, and paid quite often the fuel of my driver when allowed to! Or some beer, or sometimes a meal.

Then there were these 4 young engineers who refurbished an old Mitsubishi Pajero and a very old Valiant and drove them from Melbourne to Darwin. They picked me up at Coober Pedy, and dropped me in Darwin, very nice guys.

On day 5, we made a detour to have a break, lunch and some beers at Daly Waters. I sat in the back of the Valiant. We reached the village, arrived at the pub, but the traffic light was red, so the driver stopped, until I told him that he could drive on and ignore the red light and go to the parking place.

 

[emax]

My wife cacked herself when she figured it out
(cack is Aussie slang for laugh)

And "kacken" is the German (vulgar) word for poop.

Another opportunity for misunderstandings ...

 

[Jean Mercier]

Same in Dutch "kakken"