Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[Eric]

I think a lot of flags would fit, it looks like a small.

Brilliant

 

[McPharmer II]

As a reply to @emax pun-cartoon:

Sorry for this joke does work only in frankonia

German translation:
Ältere Dame"Die Torte dort drüben"
Bäckereifachverkäuferin: "Diese Torte oder diese Torte?"
Ältere Dame: "Nein, die dortdrüben."
Bäckereifachverkäuferin: "Ach, dortdrüben diese."

 

[emax]

Can you translate this to English?

 

[emax]

 

[Pat-Ard]

Translation:
Don‘t forget kids…

real activists use nails…

 

[emax]

This is a really old one which exists in many variants.

This is the original from the 1970s (!):

 

[McPharmer II]

Can you translate this to English?

all about cake!

 

[Krabby]

On the standard/metric debate:

 

[emax]

all about cake!

Of course. But Fränggisch is a challenge even for Germans.

 

[Tazzieman]

https://www.facebook.com/100037758507036/posts/925264225408852

View: https://www.facebook.com/100037758507036/posts/925264225408852/?flite=scwspnss

 

[trobex]

Driving the kids around this morning passed an old SWB Defender, number plate WINO. Not sure those two things go well together!!!

 

[Tazzieman]

Driving the kids around this morning passed an old SWB Defender, number plate WINO. Not sure those two things go well together!!!

It's the differential complaining .
Put some fresh wine in it

 

[DaveB]

https://www.facebook.com/100037758507036/posts/925264225408852

View: https://www.facebook.com/100037758507036/posts/925264225408852/?flite=scwspnss

New version of the old

• young bull and old bull standing in a paddock looking at a herd of cows
• Young bull says to the old bull lets run over there and see to a few of those cows
• Old bull says lets walk over and get to know all of them

 

[Tazzieman]

Old bull says lets walk over and get to know all of them

Most old bulls I've observed prefer to hang out with other old bulls
Maybe so they can share BS stories from their youth

 

[DaveB]

Most old bulls I've observed prefer to hang out with other old bulls
Maybe so they can share BS stories from their youth

Yep
Never went to bed with an ugly woman
Woke up with a few though

 

[Tazzieman]

Yep
Never went to bed with an ugly woman
Woke up with a few

Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”
WSC: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow
I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”

Winston was in fact just a bit tired , and rephrasing a quote from WC Fields

 

[Arkaig]

 

[Krabby]

 

[Tazzieman]

Each time I spot a man bun I think to myself , well there's a man who doesn't know how to eat enough, and can't wrestle.

 

[IG_in_AZ]

Each time I spot a man bun I think to myself , well there's a man who doesn't know how to eat enough, and can't wrestle.

Reminds me of the top of a full garbage bag.