Newfound appreciation for IG’s terrible software

[HereinDaRockies]

Drove the IG first time in rain, since ownership in late summer. (Mainly drove to see how the safari windows fare against the rain). During the drive realized several aspects of new annoyances with the vehicle software. Posting contemporaneous notes here to vent, laugh at the vehicle, and see how others deal with it.

- when front wiper is on with the gear in reverse, the rear wiper come on automatically. This cannot be overridden!? I spent 30 seconds or so trying to determine if I had accidentally triggered rear wipers.
- the rear wiper motor is loud and of low value given the poor visibility out the back. I wish I can override this auto-on behavior.
- while backing into my sloped garage and trying manage the cacophony of noises - the rear wiper motor whirring + rear pdc beeps + heavy rain drops dotting the roof (soothing by itself) + engine revving, I get bonged once for orange fuel level, because vehicle is at an angle ( oh no 1/4 tank remaining!). Then the software escalates to red fuel level with two additional bongs 2 seconds apart to “refuel now!!” (Still at 1/4 tank). I was startled and nearly backed into my workbench.

Holy-shit Ineos explicitly tries to engineer a non-serene driving experience. The amount of auditory garbage it overzealously outputs is dangerous for zero good reasons.

Come to think of it.. everything comes down to the tenacity of that “BONG” audio file. Bigto whomever originated it and the sign-off chain for that BONG.

 

[Tazzieman]

Pop some earplugs in
Amalog solution to digital problem.

 

[anand]

- when front wiper is on with the gear in reverse, the rear wiper come on automatically. This cannot be overridden!? I spent 30 seconds or so trying to determine if I had accidentally triggered rear wipers.

This is pretty standard for many Euro vehicles... I know in most/many VW/Audi products of the past ~20 years the only way to override it is with a 3rd party recoding tool

 

[Dopplemax]

Agreed but also oddly charming.

 

[HereinDaRockies]

oddly charming.

something only the Bong’s creator would say. Did you create the Bong chime?

 

[GN4HIR]

The other day I was outside my vehicle, doors closed, loading gear in a cart to go shoot clays, I locked or unlocked the IG and it bonged due to low fuel. Even with all the doors closed my buddy looked at me and asked what the hell that was... I just told him that Ineos takes low fuel very seriously.

 

[anand]

I just told him that Ineos takes low fuel very seriously.

Very seriously

 

[Michael H.]

Drove the IG first time in rain, since ownership in late summer. (Mainly drove to see how the safari windows fare against the rain). During the drive realized several aspects of new annoyances with the vehicle software. Posting contemporaneous notes here to vent, laugh at the vehicle, and see how others deal with it.

- when front wiper is on with the gear in reverse, the rear wiper come on automatically. This cannot be overridden!? I spent 30 seconds or so trying to determine if I had accidentally triggered rear wipers.
- the rear wiper motor is loud and of low value given the poor visibility out the back. I wish I can override this auto-on behavior.
- while backing into my sloped garage and trying manage the cacophony of noises - the rear wiper motor whirring + rear pdc beeps + heavy rain drops dotting the roof (soothing by itself) + engine revving, I get bonged once for orange fuel level, because vehicle is at an angle ( oh no 1/4 tank remaining!). Then the software escalates to red fuel level with two additional bongs 2 seconds apart to “refuel now!!” (Still at 1/4 tank). I was startled and nearly backed into my workbench.

Holy-shit Ineos explicitly tries to engineer a non-serene driving experience. The amount of auditory garbage it overzealously outputs is dangerous for zero good reasons.

Come to think of it.. everything comes down to the tenacity of that “BONG” audio file. Bigto whomever originated it and the sign-off chain for that BONG.

I hope you didn’t miss some of the other wiper programming, that I find excellent, though I’m guessing you’ll have a problem with …

Have you noticed how the software lowers the speed by one notch when you come to a stop?

For example if the wipers are on speed 1, and you come to a stop, they lower to intermittent.

If they’re on speed 2 and you come to a stop, they lower to speed 1.

Very thoughtful, I'd say.

 

[Commodore]

Drove the IG first time in rain, since ownership in late summer. (Mainly drove to see how the safari windows fare against the rain). During the drive realized several aspects of new annoyances with the vehicle software. Posting contemporaneous notes here to vent, laugh at the vehicle, and see how others deal with it.

- when front wiper is on with the gear in reverse, the rear wiper come on automatically. This cannot be overridden!? I spent 30 seconds or so trying to determine if I had accidentally triggered rear wipers.
- the rear wiper motor is loud and of low value given the poor visibility out the back. I wish I can override this auto-on behavior.
- while backing into my sloped garage and trying manage the cacophony of noises - the rear wiper motor whirring + rear pdc beeps + heavy rain drops dotting the roof (soothing by itself) + engine revving, I get bonged once for orange fuel level, because vehicle is at an angle ( oh no 1/4 tank remaining!). Then the software escalates to red fuel level with two additional bongs 2 seconds apart to “refuel now!!” (Still at 1/4 tank). I was startled and nearly backed into my workbench.

Holy-shit Ineos explicitly tries to engineer a non-serene driving experience. The amount of auditory garbage it overzealously outputs is dangerous for zero good reasons.

Come to think of it.. everything comes down to the tenacity of that “BONG” audio file. Bigto whomever originated it and the sign-off chain for that BONG.

The overspeed and the refuel now at 1/3 of a tank are the ones that drive me crazy. My driveway is a steep slope (20% at the top and about 5% going into the garage. We have a 1970 280se Cab in one garage spot and my wife and I fight for the other spot. If I’m stuck parking in the driveway bow down with anything under 3/4 tank of fuel then I wake up to a red “refuel now” warning. That is just crazy that they can’t fix this measurement issue.

 

[255/85]

I hope you didn’t miss some of the other wiper programming, that I find excellent, though I’m guessing you’ll have a problem with …

Have you noticed how the software lowers the speed by one notch when you come to a stop?

For example if the wipers are on speed 1, and you come to a stop, they lower to intermittent.

If they’re on speed 2 and you come to a stop, they lower to speed 1.

Very thoughtful, I'd say.

But if you're in speed 1 and come to a stop so that the wipers move to intermittent mode, you'll still have to still dial down two notches to fully turn them off. I'm easily confused by these things

 

[Tazzieman]

What you need is a dynamo. Wipers are speed dependant on my 64 Fiat. Old school just works

 

[bigleonski]

Here’s a New Year’s resolution for you to calm your soul.
Sell the Grenadier and buy something made in the ‘70’s.
You’re life will become instantly less complicated by stepping out of the 21st century.

 

[CRH]

What you need is a dynsmo. Wipers are speed dependant on my 64 Fiat. Old school just works

What is it, the wife has a 67 850 spider.

If we don't want bongs and other annoying/distracting safety devices it's best to avoid new vehicles, European specs are getting dangerous in the name of safety. My Grenadier is an early one so no speed limit noises which was always my plan. I now have no intention of buying another vehicle unless our rulers instruct me otherwise, although they will more likely want me to walk or use a bicycle than drive.

 

[Voader - Oudersopzwier]

Buy yourself a....

 

[Tazzieman]

What is it, the wife has a 67 850 spider.

1100D Riviera
Tough little bastard it is too! Very solid steel.

 

[DoubleDoom]

- when front wiper is on with the gear in reverse, the rear wiper come on automatically. This cannot be overridden!? I spent 30 seconds or so trying to determine if I had accidentally triggered rear wipers.

Not an annoyance and is pretty much standard with many vehicles.

- the rear wiper motor is loud and of low value given the poor visibility out the back. I wish I can override this auto-on behavior.

You can hear it but its not loud. And the volume or sound type is not annoying. It reminds me of my old defender, which in turn reminds me of all the old Austins (Mini etc). So, it has a nostalgic charm for me.

Holy-shit Ineos explicitly tries to engineer a non-serene driving experience. The amount of auditory garbage it overzealously outputs is dangerous for zero good reasons.

In respect of the bongs, I cannot disagree with you. Ineos inexperience does appear to have led them to making notification messages bigger than they need to be and as loud as they can possibly be.

And with the variety of bongs on offer, its often hard to tell what it is actually alerting to. I had four bonds (not ticks) the other day on ignition start but no message. Haven't got a clue what it was trying to tell me.

 

[HereinDaRockies]

If we don't want bongs and other annoying/distracting safety devices it's best to avoid new vehicles, European specs are getting dangerous in the name of safety. My Grenadier is an early one so no speed limit noises which was always my plan. I now have no intention of buying another vehicle unless our rulers instruct me otherwise, although they will more likely want me to walk or use a bicycle than drive.

That argument is overlooking the Ineos specific design decision to use an 70decible chime to alert user on oil change reminder and refuel reminder.

Literally no other vehicle is as obtuse as this Ineos is when it comes to those superficial events. No other vehicle celebrate them with a 70 decibel chime.

Let’s not give Ineos a pass on their uniquely egregiously poor + unsafe decisions. Else the bong in its current incarnation will never go away.

 

[Zimm]

BONG

SheZimm “what was that?”

Me “I don’t fucking know”


All the warnings remind me of all the safety chimes in a manufacturing plant. There’s so many of them, that the effect is the opposite, as one just tunes them out.

 

[Zimm]

Speaking of wipers, when mine are on and I come to a halt at a light, they go from constant to intermittent, and when I start to move, back to constant. I find it irritating in a rain storm. Is that normal or is that just a personality disorder of mine?

 

[Commodore]

BONG

SheZimm “what was that?”

Me “I don’t fucking know”


All the warnings remind me of all the safety chimes in a manufacturing plant. There’s so many of them, that the effect is the opposite, as one just tunes them out.

This… exactly this.