Far out production delay theories.

[DenisM]

Share price? Ineos is a private owned company. There are no shares.

AWo

There are shares in a private company...they're not "listed" on the Stock Exchange.

 

[Sam]

All your vehicles have already been delivered - just to other people

or to Land Rover... who've crushed them!

 

[Tazzieman]

I remember years ago behind the wheel of an old Lambo, where I had no choice but to heel/toe (barefoot) as I simply couldn’t fit the size 12s in the footwell to drive it any other way… not to mention owning the Spitfire for a year before realising the accelerator had incorrectly been linked directly (eg with zero play).

I got a pair of Blundstone boots caught in the pedals whilst downshifting just before a tight corner of an old 911 I was borrowing.
Very lucky to escape that incident.
Luckily I own the LHD version with more room , and room for a dead pedal (to brace around those corners).

 

[emax]

Sir Jim still want's to buy Manchester United.

But as a final trump card in the bidding battle, he has promised that every player can choose a Grenadier model in any color and equipment that is conceivable and he will get it the next day.

Now he is waiting until at least eleven specimen of each possible configuration variant have been built so that, in the worst case, even if every player wants to have the same configuration, he can actually choose the exact version he wants.

• Utility two seat or five seat is two variants as is trialmaster or fieldmaster = 6 variants
• rear side panels or not is 2 variants
• diesel or petrol is 2 variants
• colors are 10 variants
• ladder frame color is 3 variants
• seat trim is 3 variants
• saddle leather decorations or not is 2 variants
• safari windows y/n 2 variants
• tinted windows y/n 2 variants
• external utility rails 2
• internal utility rails 2

and maybe 20 other y/n options = additional 2^20 variations.

So to keep his promise he needs 6 x 2 x 2 x 10 x 3 x 3 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x (2^20) x 11 players = 797,253,304,320 cars*).

This will take a while.


*) Roughly. Dave will certainly find the exact number.

 

[G-Man]

Hi heard Sir Jim personally inspected the production line in February and decided white tyre lettering out didn’t look classy enough so current batch and hold is to scrub all the paint off the tires so people don’t have the option.

 

[Tazzieman]

diesel or petrol is 2 variants

A reliable source has informed me that start of play has been held up by an injunction , as someone (insert pronoun), surname "Hydrogen" lodged a protest as there is no 3rd category in that team.

 

[Max]

Apparently the Grenadier Guards have lodge a law suit of defamation of character, claiming one of the review journalists has stated that they are nothing more than Grenadier Mud Guards reinforced with a bit of checker plate stuck on them…whoops…sick of waiting…bloody lawyers

 

[trobex]

I have an updated thought as to why this is all going so slow. IA hired the same programmers that worked on Windows 98 and are just working through the patch!

 

[trobex]

I have an updated thought as to why this is all going so slow. IA hired the same programmers that worked on Windows 98 and are just working through the patch!

 

[Norb-TX]

The wiring harness are made in the Ukraine, and they have to de-radioactive them by putting them in a bowl of raw rice.

 

[Max]

The wiring harness are made in the Ukraine, and they have to de-radioactive them by putting them in a bowl of raw rice.

You are on the money, Ukraine does wiring harnesses and chips which could go well with a bowl of rice...happy days

 

[DCPU]

Ineos hired ex JLR software engineers. Only they weren't ex, they went in undercover.

Now Gaydon has backdoor access to every Grenadier in the world.

Eack week they introduce a new bug ~ brakes stay on, wipers won't turn off ~ and sit there giggling whilst the Ineos engineers scratch their heads and run through tens of thousands of line of code.

 

[Eric]

Ineos hired ex JLR software engineers. Only they weren't ex, they went in undercover.

Now Gaydon has backdoor access to every Grenadier in the world.

Eack week they introduce a new bug ~ brakes stay on, wipers won't turn off ~ and sit there giggling whilst the Ineos engineers scratch their heads and run through tens of thousands of line of code.

And their latest screw up- they start delivering vehicles to customers

 

[Tazzieman]

I don't think there is a production delay.
The delivery problem results from the chronic undersupply of midwives and obstetricians.

 

[crimson]

Perhaps they're still waiting for customers from the "hard way home" to get home .

 

[G-Man]

I heard that Ineos are waiting for the last of the snow to clear before they release the first vehicle in the UK so that no-one can whinge about the lack of a heated windscreen for at least nine months

 

[Max]

They have now received the owner's manual from the printers which had to be cut down to fit into the glove box...so now they can release the fully equipped production vehicles...happy motoring

 

[G-Man]

I heard that the assembly plant in Hambach is actually a smokescreen and the vehicles are actually being built in a shed at the bottom of Sir Jim's garden. The assembly line is only manned by six employees and they are also responsible for responding to Customer Services inquiries, so they have to down tools each time the phone rings.

As the phone has been ringing off the hook recently they have only managed to make one bonnet catch, two cheese sandwiches and 900 cups of coffee in the past month.

 

[ECrider]

two cheese sandwiches and 900 cups of coffee in the past month.

sounds like my builders have been moonlighting

 

[DCPU]

the vehicles are actually being built in a shed at the bottom of Sir Jim's garden.

I think his garden might actually be larger than the Hambach footprint?