Chuckle in Your Day! (AKA the joke thread)

[Tazzieman]

Agree - I’m too old to get that shit right.

I have the ageism card to whip out if needed Nobody's perfect!

 

[Miki]

 

[ECrider]

Tom doesn’t stick it in everyone’s face

if Tom has the right surgery she might...

 

[emax]

There are some strong ladies out there.
I reckon my wife could carry me across the threshold, and I'm not the 70lb boy on the Charles Atlas ads.

View: https://youtu.be/PzrggRrH81c?feature=shared

Scotish Lowland Games?

 

[Miki]

Scottish lowland games inclue the fastest wife to bump-start a landrover, with a flat battery in a ploughed field, competition.

 

[Miki]

 

[Tazzieman]

View attachment 7827658

I would have said a bull ant. They kind of hang on whilst delivering pain. Inchman worse than jack jumper in my experience Not a chuckle to be heard when it happens!

What's Australia's worst insect stinger? Hint: it's not the dreaded fire ant

Fire ants are a real pain. Their name is based on what it feels like to be stung by one — but it is far from the biggest pain in the insect world.

www.abc.net.au

 

[Tazzieman]

 

[DaveB]

This is a video i took 4 years ago today while I was sitting having a coffee in Rome.
A tourist group "enjoying" a site seeing trip to Rome, following a woman holding up a flag.
It amused, and yet saddened, me that this is some peoples idea/option of a holiday

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10218237822011334

View: https://www.facebook.com/dave.boreland.9/videos/10218237822011334

 

[Tazzieman]

This is a video i took 4 years ago today while I was sitting having a coffee in Rome.
A tourist group "enjoying" a site seeing trip to Rome, following a woman holding up a flag.
It amused, and yet saddened, me that this is some peoples idea/option of a holiday

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10218237822011334

View: https://www.facebook.com/dave.boreland.9/videos/10218237822011334

I suspect it's more about having a need to think for yourself, afraid of being vulnerable and anxiety about asking for facilities and directions in a foreign country.
And a bit of sheep mentality , but you see that in a suburb

 

[Tazzieman]

The slightly concerning thing is that quite likely there are such identifiers, who maybe influence others.

 

[bigleonski]

This is a video i took 4 years ago today while I was sitting having a coffee in Rome.
A tourist group "enjoying" a site seeing trip to Rome, following a woman holding up a flag.
It amused, and yet saddened, me that this is some peoples idea/option of a holiday

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10218237822011334

View: https://www.facebook.com/dave.boreland.9/videos/10218237822011334

That’ll be a cruise ship tour. Sadly I’ve done a couple of those (day tours I meant). Although we very quickly learned they weren’t our cup of tea, and did our own thing giving us a much better outlook and feel for a place.
There are some places where hiring a private tour guide is a good thing though. We hired a local guide in St Petersberg for three days and were so glad we did. I’m sure I’d have come to grief on the roads (craziest driving I’ve ever seen, including Vietnam) and we wouldn’t have had anywhere near the access to places that we did doing things on our own.

 

[Tazzieman]

We hired a local guide in St Petersberg for three days and were so glad we did.

In 2012 I took my wife and 11yo son to Russia ; I did a week long weightlifting course/certification in St P with around 20 people from all around the world.
My wife was very reticent about even visiting Russia , but there was an accompanying persons program so each day she was well catered for and felt reasonably safe .
My group also did a couple of tours (museum , palace) ; one of the "guides" , Sergei , (the heavyweight WC weightlifting champion for 20 years) I found out towards the end of the week was a minder for the mafia.
St P is not the sort of a place a westerner would feel safe after hours.
The Russian mentality is that western tourists obviously have money , therefore you must share with the locals, who don't. Which obviously they don't, going by all the G wagens and dark limos buzzing around after dark.
Post script: due to the Iceland volcanic eruption we were almost stuck in Russia. It gets awkward when your visa expires so we watched the satellite cloud hour by hour and luckily managed to sneak back into London (cloud was 150km north).

 

[emax]

I have only taken a guided tourist tour once (once!) in my life. It was in Mallorca with my in-laws, my wife and my son.

We got on a completely overcrowded bus and were taken to a village where we were supposed to visit the “native” market. The first thing was that the air conditioning on the bus wasn't working. Ok, let's say this is something "native". But not fun at 35°C and 60 people inside the bus.

Then, an unknown white smoke suddenly came from the air conditioner, so we had to stop in the middle of nowhere, with no shade anywhere, and get off the bus. After a while the smoke cleared and we got back on the bus, but the brakes were stuck and didn't seem to open. With a lot of engine revs, the bus driver finally managed to generate enough compressed air to release the brakes, and okay, let's call that a bit "native" as well.

And so we finally arrived at the “native” market. There were lots of plastic gadgets to buy and everything you would expect from such rip-off events. Even Rolexs for 20€ ("original copies", as the black men told us). But my hope of finding good wine, cheese and ham quickly disappeared.

An annoying, wasted day. Lessons learned: Don't rely on "organized adventures" and do it yourself.

 

[Tazzieman]

An annoying, wasted day. Lessons learned: Don't rely on "organized adventures" and do it yourself.

And pack your own cheese

 

[ECrider]

the children went into town yesterday and thought they'd be funny and buy me a gift:

 

[Eric]

the children went into town yesterday and thought they'd be funny and buy me a gift:

No doubt you'll keep it in the Grenadier door pocket

 

[ECrider]

No doubt you'll keep it in the Grenadier door pocket

Not sure it will fit next to my mints and general clutter. May continue to reside in the downstairs loo!

 

[Tazzieman]

the children went into town yesterday and thought they'd be funny and buy me a gift:

Pair it with this. There is also an executive range (for those special occasions.)

 

[ECrider]

.